Aspiration: Breathing Towards Who We Want to Be

I’ve been thinking recently about the word aspiration.

We tend to talk much more about goals. Things we want to achieve, change or become. And there can be something quite effortful about that — I’m here, I want to get there, and I need to do something to make that happen.

Aspiration feels a little different to me.

I was curious about where the word comes from and discovered that it shares its roots with inspiration and spirit. They all come from the Latin spirare — to breathe.

Inspiration comes from inspirare, meaning “to breathe into”. Spiritus, from the same root, originally referred to breath or breathing, and developed into the word we use for spirit.

And aspiration comes from aspirare: ad, meaning “towards”, and spirare, “to breathe”.

So although this isn't the literal meaning of the word we use today, I love the image of aspiration as breathing towards something.

It feels different from striving towards something. There is movement, but perhaps less force. Something that draws us rather than something we have to chase.

Calling Us Home

I recently listened to a Tara Brach podcast episode in which someone asked about the difference between having goals and living from aspiration. Her response really stayed with me.

She described aspiration as:

“our awakened presence or our awakened awareness calling us home.”

I love the idea of aspiration as something that is calling us home, rather than something asking us to become someone different.

It makes me think about the difference between becoming and remembering. Between trying to construct a version of ourselves that we think we should be, and becoming more deeply connected with something that already feels true.

This is also where I find a connection with Internal Family Systems (IFS).

Aspiration and the Self

In IFS, we talk about the Self as having qualities such as calm, curiosity, compassion, clarity, courage, confidence and connectedness.

These aren't qualities we need to develop from scratch. They are understood as qualities that are already available to us, although our parts can sometimes make them difficult to access.

Our parts can become very busy protecting us, managing things, anticipating problems or keeping painful feelings at a distance. Sometimes they take over so completely that we can lose touch with a sense of who we are underneath all of that activity.

Aspiration offers an interesting way of approaching this.

Rather than asking only, “What do I need to change about myself?”, we might ask:

Who do I aspire to be?

This is a question I’ve started using in my own life, particularly in thinking about my relationships.

The word that most resonates with me is kind.

Kindness has become a kind of anchor for me in difficult moments. When I can reconnect with that aspiration, it can give me access to something different — perhaps a little more compassion, curiosity or clarity — and create some space around the parts of me that have become activated.

What Are We Breathing Towards?

I find myself wondering whether aspiration can be less about a destination and more about a direction.

We don't have to arrive at some perfected version of ourselves. We can simply notice what we are drawn towards, and allow that awareness to influence how we meet the next moment.

So perhaps the question is not:

Who should I be?

But:

Who do I aspire to be?

Is there a quality of being that you feel drawn towards?

And what would it be like to move a little closer to something that already exists within you?

Perhaps aspiration is not about becoming someone else.

Perhaps it is a way of breathing towards home.

Inspired by Tara Brach’s podcast episode “Ask Me Anything (Part 1): Fear, Self-Compassion, Grief, Trauma & Awakening”, 29 July 2026.