Relationship work takes guts

One of the things I often find myself reflecting on is how much courage couples therapy actually asks of people. I say this often to couples who come into my office. The work simply has a different temperature to individual therapy. Your partner is right there beside you, hearing what you’re hearing, responding as you respond. The conversation is live.

There’s something brave about choosing to stay in that space. About being willing to speak honestly while also remaining open to  someone else’s experience. Couples therapy isn’t about quick solutions or easy answers. It asks for openness, curiosity, and a willingness to sit with complexity rather than rushing to certainty.

This kind of work asks a lot. It asks you to notice yourself while staying connected. To tolerate discomfort without immediately trying to fix it or make it go away.To listen with enough openness to accept that two experiences can exist side by side. None of this is easy, especially when old patterns are familiar and change feels risky.

So when I sit with couples who are willing to engage in this process, I feel privileged and humble. Showing up, staying engaged, and trying again—especially when things feel painful, risky, or uncertain—is no small thing. Relationship work takes guts. And for those who choose to do it, that kind of commitment to growth, responsiveness and staying engaged with one another deserves real respect.