What Happens in a Healing Circle?

Last week I facilitated the first Healing Circle of 2026.

As people arrived, there was the familiar gentle choreography of expat small talk — where are you from, how long have you been here, what brought you to Leipzig. The tentative way we introduce ourselves in a new room.

Then the six of us sat down together.

Before beginning, we spoke about how we would hold the space:

no advice-giving,

listening with curiosity,

speaking from our own experience,

and keeping what is shared confidential.

Simple agreements. But they matter. They create the container.

We began with a short body scan — nothing elaborate, just an invitation to notice what was happening internally. Breath. Sensation. The quiet hum of the nervous system.

Even in that first exercise, something real surfaced. A few people shared how difficult it had been to come at all. The negotiations with anxious parts. The heaviness of depression. The voice that says, stay home, it’s safer.

I felt moved by this. It takes courage to show up when a protective part would rather you didn’t.

From there, I introduced the core ideas of Internal Family Systems — the protectors, the managers, the firefighters, the more vulnerable exiled parts, and beneath them, what IFS calls the Self. The qualities of calm, curiosity, compassion, clarity, connection.

As I was explaining the model, I also noticed what was happening in me. A part that felt slightly nervous — a quicker heartbeat, an alertness to the newness of the situation. Another part that likes to have a back-up plan for everything. The part that wants plan A, and if that fails, plan B, C, D and E.

I named these parts out loud.

I showed the group the single small post-it note I had allowed myself for structure. It felt important not to over-prepare in a way that would distance me from the room. I wanted to be present with whatever arose.

Naming my own parts seemed to soften the atmosphere and encouraged others to do the same. It made the model less theoretical, more lived.

When I asked which Self quality people longed to feel more of, something poignant emerged. For many, it wasn’t that they wanted more calm or confidence. It was that they weren’t sure they had access to those qualities at all.

There was grief in that recognition.

And yet, as the evening unfolded, something quietly shifted. For forty-five minutes, people spoke honestly about how hard things have been. Others listened — not fixing, not comparing, not rescuing. Simply staying.

At the end, I asked everyone to share a word for how they were leaving.

Connected.

Peaceful.

Lighter.

Grateful.

It struck me that sometimes the Self qualities we struggle to feel internally begin to emerge relationally. Between us. In the shared field of attention and care.

A WhatsApp group formed naturally before people left. An impulse toward continued connection.

Healing Circles are not about dramatic breakthroughs. They are about creating a space where what is already here — anxiety, loneliness, longing, hope — can be acknowledged and welcomed.

And perhaps about discovering that even when we cannot access calm or compassion on our own, we can borrow it from the room.